20 March 2006

Liveblogging the tests, secunda pars

This morning we are at another hospital (but still one with an excellent wireless access point). Mrs. Yurodivi has already been taken in the back, where they won’t let me go with her, so that she can have a biopsy and several other tests performed.

We’ve been through this before, of course, but every time she feels a lump or any other minor change, it all comes flooding back: the uncertainty, the fear, and the sense of ineluctable doom. Yes, I believe she will go to heaven if she dies, but I am not ready for her to go just yet. We are just getting started on recovery. We’re walking a good bit in preparation for a long walk we’re planning to take this Fall, and also trying to eat better. We’re not going out for lunch together any more, but taking (gag) Lean Cuisines or similar. (Yes, I know they’re bad. But they also have far fewer calories than your average restaurant lunch).

And it seems cruel that this could all be interrupted, not to say stopped, by a recurrence or a new instance of the disease. But things all happen for a reason, and usually it’s for reasons I don’t understand.

So, fellow Catholic bloggers, if you can spare a prayer for Mrs. Yurodivi today, I believe St. Agatha and the Fourteen Holy Helpers would be good people to talk to on her behalf. Our problems aren’t that bad compared to lots of things I’ve read about in St. Blog’s: we have good insurance and we’re not likely to go hungry or lose our jobs or our house or transportation. The bills have been difficult, but fortunately I can do extra gigs and make money to help cover what the insurance doesn’t.

All the same, though, I really don’t want to go through this again, especially if the outcome might be a long, slow and painful death for Mrs. Yurodivi. I can’t believe I have actually written those words, but that’s my real fear. You married ladies know that nothing frustrates a husband more than for his wife to have a problem that he can’t fix; this is like that, only more so.

Thank you all for your prayers on our behalf, and may God bless each and every one of you in your daily lives and henceforth.


At 21 March, 2006 18:17, Blogger Yurodivi said...

Testing the comments boxes.


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