Relief and Gratitude

Today Mrs. Yurodivi had an appointment with her oncologist and also had a report from the pathologist. (Aside: I never hoped to know this many '-ists' in my life.) The oncologist was encouraged, having talked with the radiologist already but having no concrete results. But the best news came later, when Mrs. Y talked with the pathologist: the results were completely clear; nothing but scar tissue and fluid.

So thank you all (I know at least one of you read this; I understand my comboxes are messed up, and I'm working on that) for your prayers. They mean a lot to both of us. And now all there is to do is to get ready for the next 10,000-mile checkup.

Liveblogging the tests, secunda pars

This morning we are at another hospital (but still one with an excellent wireless access point). Mrs. Yurodivi has already been taken in the back, where they won’t let me go with her, so that she can have a biopsy and several other tests performed.

We’ve been through this before, of course, but every time she feels a lump or any other minor change, it all comes flooding back: the uncertainty, the fear, and the sense of ineluctable doom. Yes, I believe she will go to heaven if she dies, but I am not ready for her to go just yet. We are just getting started on recovery. We’re walking a good bit in preparation for a long walk we’re planning to take this Fall, and also trying to eat better. We’re not going out for lunch together any more, but taking (gag) Lean Cuisines or similar. (Yes, I know they’re bad. But they also have far fewer calories than your average restaurant lunch).

And it seems cruel that this could all be interrupted, not to say stopped, by a recurrence or a new instance of the disease. But things all happen for a reason, and usually it’s for reasons I don’t understand.

So, fellow Catholic bloggers, if you can spare a prayer for Mrs. Yurodivi today, I believe St. Agatha and the Fourteen Holy Helpers would be good people to talk to on her behalf. Our problems aren’t that bad compared to lots of things I’ve read about in St. Blog’s: we have good insurance and we’re not likely to go hungry or lose our jobs or our house or transportation. The bills have been difficult, but fortunately I can do extra gigs and make money to help cover what the insurance doesn’t.

All the same, though, I really don’t want to go through this again, especially if the outcome might be a long, slow and painful death for Mrs. Yurodivi. I can’t believe I have actually written those words, but that’s my real fear. You married ladies know that nothing frustrates a husband more than for his wife to have a problem that he can’t fix; this is like that, only more so.

Thank you all for your prayers on our behalf, and may God bless each and every one of you in your daily lives and henceforth.

Prayers Still Needed

Yesterday Mrs. Yurodivi went and had an ultrasound and mammogram. She had found a lump in the area of the previous surgeries, and obviously she was very concerned.

The radiologist yesterday said he couldn't tell whether the tissue he was seeing was cancer or just scar tissue. So he referred her to the surgeon who did the work last summer. Then today Mrs. Y got a call from her oncologist's office saying that the onco wanted the mass removed, but would defer to the surgeon's judgement.

So off we went to the surgeon's office. He probed and prodded the affected area, and his face appeared to relax. I'm sure you can imagine that I was studying his aspect intently for indications of a prognosis. Fortunately, he said that it was extremely unlikely to be cancer, but he referred her to a different radiologist -- one wo would not issue any indefinite opinions like "I think it's this" or "it's probably that," but would give a definite diagnosis.

So we need your prayers some more -- you've always been very generous to pray for Mrs. Y. I'm invoking the Fourteen Holy Helpers some more.

Thanks again for your prayers. It is a comfort to know that you are inteceding for us.

More on that Chant Workshop

A couple of weeks ago I remote-blogged from Auburn, Alabama, the site of the St. Cecilia Schola Cantorum Chant and Polyphony Workshop. The experience was a beautiful one, and I hope to repeat it next year, possibly including some of my choir members or the members of my new Schola. Unfortunately I had to leave early in order to be home at a decent hour, since I had to be up at 6:00 AM on Sunday. It was raining buckets all the way home, and I really didn't want to be driving in the rain and the dark.

Of course, I can’t disclose the location, etc. etc. of my church, but suffice it to say that we’ll be having some chant at the Saturday Mass before too long. Intriguingly, a number of people who have expressed interest in joining are not even Catholic – some are even non-Catholic clergy. So the Saturday Mass might be the best time to do that in order to avoid conflict with their professional obligations.

If anyone objects to the addition of chant to that liturgy, I’ll just have to point out how much shorter Mass is when you don’t sing a bunch of [non-Catholic] hymns. Hymns are a lot longer than your average Introit, Communion or Offertory chant, and they may or may not have anything to do with the readings. All these years we’ve been using the last option (hymns) as the default, when it ought to be the chant first and the hymns as a last resort. I’m ready to put on my Don Quichotte bedpan helmet and tilt at the hymn-mill, one liturgy at a time.

One of the most intriguing things about the workshop was the early Saturday daily Mass. The assembled singers assisted at that Mass, and I expected we would significantly outnumber the congregation. I was wrong about that.

On a frigid Saturday morning in the middle of the winter, a good-sized crowd of people showed up for that daily Mass. They were in for a treat, because there were nearly a hundred of us in the chant workshop, and the singing was beautiful. We sang the old hymn-tune version of Panis Angelicus as a Communion hymn and sang all the Mass parts in Latin (except for the Gloria and Credo, which were omitted).

Assembled in that cupcake-shaped church, in the last place I would have expected to hear chant, and singing the song of the Church together with all those other singers -- that was priceless and beautiful. And I hope to be back next year, assuming things go okay for Mrs. Yurodivi.

Thanks to Jeffrey Tucker and Arlene Oost-Zinner for doing such a brilliant job assembling this workshop.

Live-blogging the tests

This morning Mrs. Yurodivi is here with me at the Breast Cancer place, having a mammogram, ultrasound and maybe a biopsy. They won’t let me go in the back with her for any of the tests, so I’m taking advantage of the hospital’s free wireless access.

For the last few days she has been feeling a lump in the same area as the previous surgery, just above the scar -- in the same area where she had the radiation therapy. She’s had some pain and soreness as well. Now, I know doctors will tell you there’s no pain associated with breast cancer, but Mrs. Y had sharps pains in the affected area for months before she got a diagnosis, so of course we are worried.

She has been worried for a little while, and even though she has an appointment with the oncologist next week, I suggested she might not want to wait. So yesterday she called the oncology place and talked with the nurse. The nurse asked her, “Is it hot to the touch?” Sure enough, they had her scheduled for these tests within half an hour. That doesn’t inspire confidence in the outcome.

All this means that we may be back in the woods for a while. Maybe forever. So I would really appreciate your prayers. It would be a good time to invoke the Fourteen Holy Helpers, St. Peregrine, and Saint Agatha.